A couple of months ago I was looking into my behaviors and notice that I am an Over thinker!! I realize that some of my behaviors where paralyzing me, taking over…. as a matter of fact I wasn’t being able to enjoy the simplicity of the day because of me over thinking every step I was taking.
You might think ” how does one even know if you are an over thinker?” In my case I guess I have always suspected it, just that now years older I am more conscious when I’m doing it.
How I noticed?
I can summarize in 5 traits how I figured out that I was over thinking WAY TO MUCH!!!
1.Assuming or imagining a reason for everything
Before I did anything as simple as a call or a text I think of what the other person should respond or then analyze too much the response. And as crazy as this sound it makes me create situations that don’t exist. This I think is the most frustrating of the traits because I stop engaging with friends or future friends for no reason.
2.Thinking too much of something I want to do to the point that I drive myself out of doing it
Lets say I want to plan a day out with my kids and I start thinking of every F……g single thing that might go wrong or as simple as a change in the weather and then I just simply decide not to do it. Not to even try to be spontaneous and let be.
3.Going through the most difficult route in every situation
This has to be one of the eldest traits, I think! I remember that as long as in college I thought of million ways for a test and then on my projects. I remember not sleeping thinking of every single possibility or outcome when I just should’ve gone with my first instinct. My first instinct or thought most of the times was the easiest and correct one, don’t get me wrong!! it is not that I not did good but it was an unnecessary pressure that I put myself through.
4. Practicing a conversation before it takes place and still not being able to openly state my feelings or point of view
Yeah Right!! First of all I must look bonkers when I talk to myself but that is the least of my worries. Then you are in the conversation, that you practiced and spent hours thinking of it, and you really suck at delivering your message. Least of all you start thinking of the actual conversation and wish that you had said this or that……..
5. Don’t enjoy experiences to the fullest
It is sad when you are in a middle of a great adventure, trip or just an amazing day and your mind doesn’t let you enjoy it and is just bombarding you with questions, doubts. Sometimes you are so out of it that you just call it a day.
Soooo, living like this can get really exhausting. The constant worrying, thinking of possibilities, of things that have not happened or things that happened and what would you have done different. For my family and specially my kids I needed to changed and Pronto!!!
What I am doing to slowly but steady shut my brain?!! I share 5 ways I’m working on to change the focus and try to be less of an over thinker.
5 Ways to take the focus off your constant thoughts
1. Every day do affirmations
This helps me shut those self-doubt thoughts that can paralyze you of achieving little or big things on your daily life. By doing 1, 2 or even 10 a day you put the over thinking in its place.
2. Stop Assuming
My mom always says to me that by assuming you make an ass of U and ME. This can’t be better said. When creating thoughts based on assumptions you are driving yourself to an unknown path. I am now trying to be very conscious about this behavior. If someone says something about a topic or nothing about anything I am not assuming why they acted like that. It is not easy but it sends a message to myself to STOP creating.
3. Stop thinking everything is because of you
If you call, write, etc and you don’t get that same feedback don’t think it is because of you. People have lives and sometimes, like you, they are involved in their own messes. Driving yourself to a overthinking hill, just because you think their behavior is related to you, won’t get you anywhere.
4. Meditate, Breath, exercise, dance, walk….
I prefer breathing, this helps me in just a few minutes to calm those days when my brain is in automatic cruise control. It works as the button to STOP and reset.
5. Let yourself be loose
By letting yourself loose you also let your mind loose. Go for the trip that sounded bad from the start or even if the weather says is going to be pouring!!! Get out there and face whatever situation when it happens not the one you created in your mind. You bet that it will be completely different, it can be the best day!! but you almost missed it.
I get that everyone works their way out of overwhelming situations in different ways!! I hope this 5 ways can help you just as they are helping me. Helping me accomplish what I wanted to do and was procrastinating because my thoughts were of self-doubt. But best of all have let me enjoy my life and I’m slowly walking away from the paralyzing behavior that is OVERTHINKING.
Let me know if you are a over thinker like me! What have you tried that has worked calm your thoughts? Love to hear from you and add some techniques!
Print this simple guide for when you need a little focus 😉